The second child with 35?

Hello,

I now gestцbert a while here in the forum and all the love and read thoughtful answers. I therefore now mцchte times but my question here and wьrde love to read your thoughts and experiences about this:

I am now 35, my husband now 43. Our mouse is now 2.5 years old and we are glьcklich. And now the question inevitably comes into play if we do not want a second child.

My husband mцchte definitely two. The Ьberlegung, only to have a child, he never had. Closed for him, who himself has two Brьder, hi there every at least two children alive.

I'm just very uncertain. We take a chance and to my frьhen miscarriage two months ago I still thought I get it all out already. In me now everything is set back to the beginning and I doubt if I'll make another child and if I should not take the miscarriage of occasions to ьberdenken this question again intense.

I work at the moment part-time and started with my dissertation. So I have just conquered me everyday with some Freirдumen again. We change from us in terms of the collection of the mouse from the Kita and the lдngeren days in Bьro. Evenings and weekends my husband is then often still in his Bьro he is selbstдndig.

Our families do not live on site and time together we have already little. And what grandma takes two children when we want a weekend twosome times?

And then I think again, not all questions that then klдren when the time comes?

I admit I do not really trust me two children and the dissertation. I fьhle me now often tired and mьde. Maybe because our mouse currently playing in the middle of a mummy - infected phase, and I alone, can not even into the bathroom while the dad is there.

How have you made the decision closed for or against a second child, you were you sure that there is to be a second or was it with you a choice between head and heart?

Wьrde me very interested.

love GruЯ
chamomile

,

Hello chamomile!

I am now pregnant with 38 the 4th child.

We always wanted two children, when then there I found that our family was not yet complete and so soon came our 3rd Then we were completely closed for a few years.

The first time with several young children (even 2) is already stressful, but if the jьngste so about 2 years old, they have been playing together and it is always easier and above all enjoyable.

Now my three already groЯ (10, 12 and 14) and the subject child stood again in space. It was a heart decision, because the mind has rather said no.

- all over again
- the costs
- car problem
- different interests of teenagers and young child
- partly to give up my job / hobbies again
- my free time I have now closed for me to give it back

Thus, it comes a lot to us, but I think:

There will be a Lцsung closed for everything and this love by the new baby / child is he who comes into the house we give so much joy that the positives will always ьberwiegen - even in very stressful times.

Love GrьЯe - Andrea

,

Hello chamomile,

I understand your thoughts only too well .... for me it was also a decision between head and heart.

I have now a nearly 15 Jдhrige daughter and am again become unplanned pregnant with nearly 35 and just at a time when it just once again is not at all between me and my GroЯen now 🙁 and I am very good at job

My heart has chosen closed for this child and could ьberzeugen head 🙂 .... and my partner and I are looking forward to this baby and what the future holds remains to be seen. I'm actually a person who likes control informed about his life and what but it happens sometimes you really have hцren hold on his heart. 🙂

No matter how you decide you do it closed for you and closed for anyone else!

GruЯ
Ani

,

Hello chamomile,

sit not under pressure, you've still got time! I wьrde first make the dissertation finished and then ьberlegen again, because one of them - dissertation or child - you do then only half-heartedly. A grцЯerer distance between the children does have disadvantages but also advantages. The first child is selbstдndiger and especially verstдndiger, i it takes the message from no. 2 on very different than a 2-jдhriges child. If my second coming is my first child 5 and I speculate already on his Verantwortungsgefьhl (within the Mцglichkeiten). As I said, I wьrde first time make the dissertation done and then plan. Until then, has your "organization" strengthened. We needed dafьr 3 years, since we both work full time and no parents in the Nдhe have dafьr but a daycare place since 1 year.

,

Quote by GuertlMaHello,

I now gestцbert a while here in the forum and all the love and read thoughtful answers. I therefore now mцchte times but my question here and wьrde love to read your thoughts and experiences about this: .......

love GruЯ
chamomile

Hello chamomile,

I am 39 years old and got our son when I was 32nd Then we wanted to wait at least three years to no. Should be addressed. 2 Primarily because I wanted genieЯen my children and thought (and still think) that I have not mцchte with a toddler in a baby. It seemed unfair to the first gegenьber because he has to share his mama so frьh and unjust the second gegenьber that I wьrde take him AusschlieЯlichkeit to be more or less just closed for him because of what I do in no. 1 could. But no. 2 was always planned.

I assumed that I would not be as fast pregnant with 35, but that it does not work, has made me very sad.

Now we had again Glьck and our son will be 8 when the baby comes.

At first I thought the two are too far apart, but I have not reckoned with our son. He wдlzt Namensbьcher, lieЯt in my baby book and just pleased with skin and hair on his siblings.

And I am happy that I could give my love these eight years ausschlieЯlich him. And now that he's just very selbstдndig, will again have enough time to be auЯschlieЯlich closed for the baby there. And my free time I spend dafьr forth like. Professionally, I'm flexible in as long as I wanted to work again until the son has with elementary school ....

In your case, I wдre probably dafьr only the dissertation to get Tьten so you can then relaxed approach the baby time.

The other question is, what do you think, how long you need to have it finished. Can we take the risk to take a chance on it, because maybe it will take even a little bit until you're pregnant. And then another 10 months until the child comes.

I believe that one need not necessarily be dafьr with his head to get a child, also reaches the heart. But you muЯ with the whole heart want. And I think I hцren out of your line that is not the whole heart closed for a baby. At least not now.

I person you are seeking out a lot Glьck in the dissertation and you can find the right way.

Oh, and my husband is now 44 years old and he is looking forward to the child. But we all agree that we hцchstens three years trying to put hдtten no. 2 in the world.

My husband will be 52 years old when our second starts school. And I consider it our son now. Although he plays a lot with friends, but also with his parents he mцchte do something. Yet it works quite well, etc with all Football, inline skating, cycling ......

You should ask your husband whether he or rather mцchte always be daddy not in fьnf or six years.

All the best !!!

,

Hello and good morning,

Thanks closed for your honest answers. There are so many points and as abzuwдgen woman can ever get the panic that all this is not at all.

My husband is wholeheartedly there and more like the guy who says quite optimistic, which is found all in good time. On the one hand it does quite well that he does not have as many concerns in mind as me. On the other hand he can not understand some points as well. For me, the stress fдngt yes in the head and the very idea, two children after parental leave then also again the work and the dissertation makes me while thinking already mьde.

What he also told me, is that the dissertation maybe can wait and then just takes a little lдnger. He wьrde me always unterstьtzen there, but if she stayed are times, I just wьrde spдter continue. On the one hand I do not need them urgently closed for my career advancement. It's more my desire to make this project, no matter how long it takes.

On the other hand, I probably also very back of the head and expect to live with it kцnnen when I no longer dafьr energy might not find or maybe quite a while.

My husband does not like to mцchte so with end 40 Father be and he wдre if we wait another two / three years. A little, I regret that we are not something jьnger - especially him. :-). But if you find yourself only spдter, then so be it.

I probably need time alone in hineinhцren me where the Prioritдten are and what need be can be a little wait. And my Plдne the dissertation I must indeed not completely buried when it comes to my husband. Maybe I should see as flexible as my husband does.

Sigh .....

,

Quote by GuertlMaHello and good morning,

Thanks closed for your honest answers. There are so many points and as abzuwдgen woman can ever get the panic that all this is not at all.

My husband is wholeheartedly there and more like the guy who says quite optimistic, which is found all in good time. On the one hand it does quite well that he does not have as many concerns in mind as me. On the other hand he can not understand some points as well. For me, the stress fдngt yes in the head and the very idea, two children after parental leave then also again the work and the dissertation makes me while thinking already mьde.

What he also told me, is that the dissertation maybe can wait and then just takes a little lдnger. He wьrde me always unterstьtzen there, but if she stayed are times, I just wьrde spдter continue. On the one hand I do not need them urgently closed for my career advancement. It's more my desire to make this project, no matter how long it takes.

On the other hand, I probably also very back of the head and expect to live with it kцnnen when I no longer dafьr energy might not find or maybe quite a while.

My husband does not like to mцchte so with end 40 Father be and he wдre if we wait another two / three years. A little, I regret that we are not something jьnger - especially him. :-). But if you find yourself only spдter, then so be it.

I probably need time alone in hineinhцren me where the Prioritдten are and what need be can be a little wait. And my Plдne the dissertation I must indeed not completely buried when it comes to my husband. Maybe I should see as flexible as my husband does.

Sigh .....
So then the decision wдre simple closed for me.

not Verhьtet and waits until times when you become pregnant. If the dissertation is something that can run slowly, then goes also.

My friend said at the time, you wдchst in all pure. It is vegehen all Fдlle at least another year until you've had the baby. Then Eure is "GroЯe" already in KiGa. You'll mornings closed for you and have the baby and then paЯt already.

All the best !!!

,

Hello
I am 29 years old and I am 8.11. my 3.Kind entbunden.Ich still have two Sцhne of 3jahren and 22 months, and now has a daughter of 11 Wochen.Fьr always stood us firmly that there should be two children and thus came even 20 months spдter my guys 2.Sohn.Die harmonize great and play for hours zusammen.Der thought of a 3.Kind has never left us, because we have 3 children, a car where three children have space .... Thus kamunsere daughter also 20 Moante spдter.Natьrlich are 3 small children tiring but there has never been a situation where I hдtte said as we could ... but I must say that I do not stress me lasse.Ich've never actually been thinking how it is, but always come let me too, because last finally weiЯ is it indeed may have nicht.Man or a demanding baby a pglegeleichtes (which we have ьbrigneds) .Mache not you many thoughts, please let to you zukommen.Und wasdas concerns go away: my mom also takes 3 children

,

Quote by GuertlMaHello,

I now gestцbert a while here in the forum and all the love and read thoughtful answers. I therefore now mцchte times but my question here and wьrde love to read your thoughts and experiences about this:

I am now 35, my husband now 43. Our mouse is now 2.5 years old and we are glьcklich. And now the question inevitably comes into play if we do not want a second child.

My husband mцchte definitely two. The Ьberlegung, only to have a child, he never had. Closed for him, who himself has two Brьder, hi there every at least two children alive.

I'm just very uncertain. We take a chance and to my frьhen miscarriage two months ago I still thought I get it all out already. In me now everything is set back to the beginning and I doubt if I'll make another child and if I should not take the miscarriage of occasions to ьberdenken this question again intense.

I work at the moment part-time and started with my dissertation. So I have just conquered me everyday with some Freirдumen again. We change from us in terms of the collection of the mouse from the Kita and the lдngeren days in Bьro. Evenings and weekends my husband is then often still in his Bьro he is selbstдndig.

Our families do not live on site and time together we have already little. And what grandma takes two children when we want a weekend twosome times?

And then I think again, not all questions that then klдren when the time comes?

I admit I do not really trust me two children and the dissertation. I fьhle me now often tired and mьde. Maybe because our mouse currently playing in the middle of a mummy - infected phase, and I alone, can not even into the bathroom while the dad is there.

How have you made the decision closed for or against a second child, you were you sure that there is to be a second or was it with you a choice between head and heart?

Wьrde me very interested.

love GruЯ
chamomileI write to you from the perspective of an only child and I can tell you that I've always hated to have no siblings. Even today, I often have the idea that so many closed for me and my parents easier wдre if there still gдbe a few shoulders kцnnten endorse.
That the little one is now so strenuous is indeed vorьber, and often the children come even more quickly out of the terrible twos when when "big brother or sister" fьhlen and kцnnen be proud.
My children have every 3 years distance, which I always felt was ideal.

So I think you should trust you if there is nothing and your husband anyway liked to mцchte a child. But in the end it is your decision natьrlich.

,

Hello and thanks again to all of you. Your answers have done me very well and a bit of rest and a schцnes weekend with my sister sometimes without her husband and child were doing their ьbriges. We are now just take a chance. If it should work again, that it should be equally and I try to leave everything to see other relaxed and come to me. My dissertation I will pursue now in the nдchsten months as far as it goes and then spдter so on keep track of how the time it zulдsst. Me rushing since nobody, just me myself.

I think this decision fьhlt on quite well. .: Daumendrueck:

Love GrьЯe